Book Review - Burning Wild by Christine Feehan

Christina Feehan is one of my favorite authors. She has several great paranormal series (the Drake sisters, the Carpathians, the Ghost Walkers, the Leopard). I have all her books and I look forward to each new title she puts out. Her books grab your attention from the start, making it nearly impossible to put down until you reach the end, and of course then you are left waiting for the next one. Her story lines are addicting. That being said, Burning Wild, left me disappointed. It is a book of the leopard series. The leopard books are stories about shape-shifters and those who carry the leopard bloodline even if they can't transform into a leopard. Burning Wild centers around Jake. We learn of his tragic and cruel upbringing at the hands of parents who only sired him for his genes. This lack of love and compassion turns him into a ruthless and seemingly emotionless business man. Jake trust no one. Feehan does an excellent job of showing that Jake has many sides, although he is unaware of his gentler side. He often takes in strays, so to speak. People that society has dumped on and tried to forget, those who haven't gotten a break in life. Jake is surrounded by these broken souls and is fiercely protective of them, all the while claiming to feel nothing for no one. Along comes pregnant Emma, whom he rescues from a car accident, also involving his newborn son. He is drawn to her and she sees the good in him that he tries to hide.

For me, it was a disappointment because I am used to being enthralled by Feehan's complex stories and characters. Although she gives us very detailed background on the characters in Burning Wild they still lacked dimension. Reading this book I felt like I had picked up an old Dynasty (1980's evening soap) script with shape shifters. Knowing and loving Feehan's other work this was a let down. The book was entertaining; it's just not what I have come to expect from this author.

DVD: 2012:Doomsday

This semi-christian movie is about a group of archeologists who uncover a seemingly anachronistic crucifix in a Mayan ruin in South America and he feels destined to deliver it to another Mayan temple where he can use it to fulfill a prophecy.It is mid December 2012, and for anyone who has read up on the doomsday prophecies current and ancient civilizations predicted the world to end on 12-21-2012. So our movie shows many terrible natural disasters that cause havoc worldwide, including a massive tornado that destroys most of California, massive tidal waves that eradicate entire large islands and the western coastline, and a series of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions that threaten to destroy most of the continent of South America. One imagines similar events are occuring worldwide(although this is a low budget movie so they focused on one geography.) The world's best scientists have no explanation for what is happening. The daughter of one of these scientist, a young female Christian missionary and a pregnant villager on the verge of giving birth that feel compelled to go to the temple to. There's also a young female paramedic who has been having dreams about this Mayan temple and ends up driving there. All of these people headed to the same place, either to stop the end of the world or bring about a new one. Along the way there are other secondary characters that help the characters on their journeys, and then mysteriously disappear. Mix in some mixed-up Christian elements and Mayan prophecies about 2012 and that's the movie.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie more than I expected to. Partly due to the fact that I am fascinated by the 2012 prophecies and all the different interpretations, and partly because I have worked with Dale Midkiff in the past and he's a great guy.
This was an interesting take on the prophecy. Many ancient religions have foretold of this date and there are countless books out on the subject. One of my favorites being Fractal Time by Gregg Braden (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x7nFIwBaPI). Braden points out that Dec 21, 2012 is the end of a world age not necessarily the end of the world. It is how humans react to the changes our world will go through as the poles switch polarity that will tell if it is truly an apocalyspe. The movie also follows that idea, as the date marks a time when God will bring together a group of messengers to help the world start anew.

There is some bad acting, poorly thought out production elements(Mayan temples in Mexico just outside of California border, hmm) and some continuity problems with the film but as someone who has seen some truly horrible big budget films and who has worked on both big budget and low budget films, this film was well made for what they had to work with. Although some of the production elements are flawed, it doesn't take away from the story they are trying to tell. The film has a made for TV feel, if you are a fan of the Sci-fi(now Syfy) and USA movies you will not be disappointed with this film. In fact you might be pleasantly surprised as it is story driven, not cheesy bimbos running around screaming and being hacked up. And for those who are fans of the Christian films such as Meggido, you will enjoy this film.

Jackson: A life lived in the spotlight

Here is a link (click on title above) to an article my very good friend and former college roommate, Marissa Melton, wrote:


VOA News - Jackson: A Life Lived In the Spotlight
http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-06-26-voa5.cfm?renderforprint=1
International pop star Michael Jackson experienced what must have been some of the highest and lowest moments of his life under an unrelenting media spotlight, before his sudden death Thursday at the age of 50.

Book Review- The Real Deal by Fern Michaels

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you no longer knew who you were or who someone you loved was? Or if a person you loved or admired was no longer who you thought they were? Those are the very questions the characters in The Real Deal have to find the answers to.

Maybe because, I don't like politics, I love to read political thrillers. I like to tell myself it's because I enjoy absorbing the knowledge and living vicariously through the characters and not my disdain for "the system". Living in the world we currently do, it is hard not to become jaded on all the controversy and maliciousness we see and read on the internet and news.

When I was younger, I fell in love with Fern Michael's epic "Sins" series that span decade. As I've gotten older and my time is more limited the last thing I want to do is read a pure "bodice ripper". The great thing about Michaels, is that she was never the bodice ripper type author. Her stories have always been so full of the world around us and the world of the past that you couldn't help but be sucked in. I love that the women she writes about are strong and bigger than life but yet resemble someone we might know. Her "sisterhood" series is one of my favorites. Who wouldn't want to get away with the things her righteous vigilanties get to do.

The Real Deal is not part of the Sisterhood series, and I have to admit I picked it up because at first, I thought it was. The Real Deal is a stand alone book about Quinn Star, a former F.B. I. Agent faced with difficult decisions. I love the fact that she gives a government official such a non-government name. When I first read the back cover I kept thinking that as I read the book, we would secretly find out the main character was an actress or some sort of entertainer (ok, I admit stripper came to mind). Quinn is definitely none of those things. She is strong, intelligent, independent and tough as nails. She is also very human and Michaels makes her real and believable by showing us the softer side she has for her aunt, friends, animals and that like those of us in the real world she has her doubts and second guesses herself. The Real Deal takes you on a wild ride through the intrigues of Washington politics and the inner workings of White House. At times, some of the elements definitely border on "creative license" but are never too far fetched to detract from the story. A very satisfying read that will leave you asking just how far will certain people in government go to further their careers and protect themselves. In light of the recent election, it also makes me wonder, what is really going on inside the White house right now.

Book Review - Killing Fear by Allison Brennan

Killing Fear is the story of serial killer, Theodore Glenn and the two people he loves to terrorize the most..... Detective Will Hooper and business woman Robin McKenna. Glenn is a sadistic killer who years ago mutilated strippers until he was convicted and locked away thanks to Hooper and McKenna. To just characterize Glenn as a serial killer or even a sadist is too simple. Author, Allison Brennan creates a character to send chills up a readers spine. This is the first book I have read by this author, and as the moderator of a mystery/thriller book club, I am often disappointed in the books we read. That is not the case here, Killing Fear delivers. Brennan gives you the background you need to understand the characters without going overboard with too many extraneous details. Her characters are believable. Their actions in the story are believable. Could an earthquake do enough damage to San Quinton for inmates to escape and seek revenge on the ones who locked them up? Absolutely, which makes one wonder why they would even build a maximum security prison on a fault line. I know the odds are slim but anyone who has lived in California can attest, it can happen. Brennan draws you into the human psyche of her characters so that you empathize with them while her action leaves you on the edge of your seat. Who will Glenn kill next? Will he get caught or put down like the beast he is? Will Robin ever feel safe again or will she always be afraid to walk into a dark room and turn on the lights? Will Detective Hooper waste his career in search of a madman?

I won't spoil it, you'll have to read the book to find out.

Goodbye of my K-5 Tank

This was my 1988 tank right after I got back from driving it to Calgary. (7,000+ miles). I have driven it all over the place and it has moved me several places. It has taken kids to softball practice, the beach, and church. It has driven over medians, through ice and snow and flooded roads. It has been a redneck magnet with it's boat hitch, gun racks and other big metal parts, only my dad knows what they were for. It has kept me safe in the crazy Wilmington traffic and after my divorce it gave me a since of stability. My 4000 lbs of steel security blanket. I will no longer not worry about the crazy drivers, rude tailgaters, and other idiots who don't know what a turn signal is. I will be more conscious of the bad drivers around me since I will no longer be in my beautiful indestructible K-5.

Anyone who has ever owed a K-5 knows the pride it inspires. So, over the past few years, I have put up with an air conditioner that doesn't work, windows that didn't roll down, a radio that played when it wanted to, and being in the poor house when gas prices soared. Even when more things were going wrong with my blazer than I could afford to fix, I held on. It was my "tank", my baby. I was known for my tank and I drove it pride knowing I could take on anything with it. I commanded respect from other truck lovers. Alas, it finally sputtered out on Wednesday, and the estimates to once again make it new were going to cost too much, so I finally let it go and bought a little car. I now have a car that could probably fit inside the blazer and getting used to sit so low to the ground is going to take some time to get used to. Of course, it will be nice to get more than 8 miles to the gallon as gas prices go up once again and fit into any parking space no matter how small.

I will always have the best memories of my tank and I'm happy knowing the guy buying it will fix it up and love it as much as my dad and I did.

Road Rage

Road Rage/Bad Driving

A poll (AutoVantage Road Rage Survey Reveals Best, Worst Cities ) came out today listing the top cities for Road Rage. No surprise, New York made the number one spot, edging out Miami for the first time in five years. Actually, having been married to a Hispanic man, the fact that Miami held that spot the previous four years did not surprise me. Put a hot blooded culture in a densely packed hot climate and you're bound to end up with some over-heating. Having traveled all over the U.S. and seen how people drive, I am really shocked that Wilmington, NC didn't atleast get a mention. It is one of the worst places to drive. Maybe not as bad as New York City, Washington DC, Chicago, LA...... but lets face it we have the highest insurance rate in the state for a reason. The people here do not know how to drive. You have the drivers who want to go 90 mph in a 35-45 zone. You have the drivers who want to 25 mph in a 55-65 zone. You have the drivers merging into to traffic who do not understand what the term YIELD means. Lets not forget the drivers who don't understand stop signs and red lights. But you have those drivers everywhere. Locally we also have the overabundance of drivers who change lanes without looking, drive without hands, decide to make a left turn from the far right lane or take a right exit lane from the far left lane..... all without signaling or looking. And speaking of signals, did you know that turn signals must be an optional package when buying a car here, because few actually use them. Don't even get me started on the cell phone abusers and texters. The list of bad driving habits could be endless....... but equally bad is how some people react to them. I had a woman coming on to the highway merge right into my lane. I couldn't change to the left lane because there was a vehicle in it, I slammed on brakes (no easy task in a K5 blazer weighing over 4000 pounds) and managed to avoid an accident, two cars behind me slammed on breaks and went off the road. We were all quite shaken yet none of us got ugly, the young woman in the car that almost caused a four car pile up flipped us all off as she sped away. Of course the police said since we managed to avoid an accident there was nothing they could do. Of course not. Just like the guy in the black cherokee who was weaving in and out of traffic on Martin Luther King, going 80 mph or more while blowing up balloons. Yes, you read that right. He was inserting a balloon in his mouth and blowing it up while driving at a high speed down the road in 5pm rush hour traffic. I called the police on that, unfortunately he turned off before the police caught up with us so I don't know if they caught him, but they have his license.

Why do people continue to get behind the wheel of a vehicle and think they don't have to be responsible. I realize almost everybody has a license and drives these days. It's like eating, sleeping, breathing.... we can practically do it on auto-pilot. But a car is not a toy, you can kill someone or be killed with one.

Racism and DVD-Spinning into Butter

Yes, this weekend was a movie fest at my house. While most of the movies we watched were average, a few were bad and a few were really great. I like all kinds of movies, but I especially like dramas. Movies that make you stop and think. Examine your own life and views. Spinning into Butter is just such a film. I'll admit, I picked it up because I like Sarah Jessica Parker, Beau Bridges, Miranda Richardson. It's the story of racism. I started to write "modern day", but really racism is timeless and there is no one who is not guilty of it. If we are honest, that is. No one wants to ever admit they are racist, but everyone is to an extent. If you really look at how you think and how you act and react to things and people, there is no one who can say they are not a little racist. I'm not talking whites against blacks, I'm talking all races. Blacks can be just as racist against whites, Hispanics against Mexicans, Indians against Turkish, whites against Native Americans, Mexicans against Asians, etc. Everyone has their prejudices. We try to live in a "politically correct" world and I think that sometimes as we try so hard to be politically correct we are actually perpetuating the very racist tendencies we are trying to avoid. Deep down I don't think of myself as a racist, I have friends from all different races, I've dated and been married to different races. As an artist, when I look at another person I notice everything about them, skin color, texture, hair, eyes, bone structure, scars, etc. and on that level I see and distinguish all their physical characteristics. I think the more diverse a person is the more beautiful they are because of that uniqueness from a purely aesthetic point of view. But when I see a person on a mental level, I don't see the color of their skin, their ethnic background.... I see a person and who and what their actions and words represent. That being said, I am as guilty as everyone else of making generalizations. I get so frustrated when I see many of my friends being turned down for benefits they need and deserve just because they are technically not a minority in that particular setting. I get frustrated when I see people born in this country suffer while those who are here illegally get handed things on a silver platter just because this "system" doesn't want to seem prejudice. I get enraged when I see someone treated differently because one assumes they are a certain nationality. We like to think we live in a society where all men are created equal, but the reality is that we aren't treated equal and we never will be until we stop focusing so much on our differences and just accept them. History has shown us that we can not do that and the future will affirm it.

Back to the film..... it's the story of an idealistic young woman who never considered herself racist until she found herself being the minority. Then she began to focus so much on those differences that she ran away to be the Dean at college where she would no longer be the minority. It is there that blatant racism rears it's ugly head, and it is how the various characters react to it, that is so telling about our human nature. Some want to sweep it under the rug, some want to attack everyone else, some want to make up their own race instead of being who they are, some want to promote "tolerance" ( more on my opinion of that in a moment), and some want to confront it head on and make a difference. In this film, you get to see all sides, all views and it makes you stop and realize the racism in yourself. There is a wonderful scene between a black character and a white character, where they decide to list all the disparaging things about the other race that come to mind with a mutual respect for each and frustration at their own human nature. I found the film very moving and think everyone should watch it because there is a message for everyone in it.

Tolerance. I don't know why, but I find that to be one of the ugliest words a person can use. I truly find it offensive in any context, but especially when talking about race. I think one of our biggest problems, is that we try to "tolerate" each other instead of accepting one another. Why should we tolerate another human being? Tolerate is something you do with static in your radio channel, or commercials on TV. You tolerate those things. In other words they are an annoyance that you put up with in hopes that eventually they will go away. Is that really how we should feel about another human being? I don't believe so. I believe we should accept each other. Does that mean I think we should like everything about every other person. Definitely not, but we should accept that that is who they are and not judge them for it. After all who are we to judge anyone but ourselves.

DVD Incendiary

Every so often you see a movie that is so poignant it leaves you speechless. Incendiary is just such a film. It stars Michelle Williams as a wife and mother in London. She loves her husband, but it is established from the onset that he works all the time and she feels neglected, so her entire world revolves around her son, whom she adores. One lonely night while waiting for her husband to get off work she meets a reporter (Ewan McGregor) who is captivated by her candor and honesty. She is also charmed by him and they end up having an affair. This is almost a side note to the real story that plays out when her husband and son are killed in a terrorist attack on a soccer stadium. The movie is about humanity and how we deal with the circumstances of our actions and life around us. How we deal with grief and compassion. How we judge ourselves and others. It is an incredibly sad film that makes you stop and think about your own life and how you cope. It is beautifully written and acted leaving you with a sense of hope at the end. It is a rare film that can invoke such raw feelings of empathy, anger and anguish while still leaving you fulfilled with the knowledge that we, humans, can endure and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Every Thing Happens For A Reason

There are many times in our lives when we question why things happen. Sometimes we find the answers and sometimes the answers are beyond our grasp. When the answer is bigger than we are we may never understand it.

I think few things represent this more than the recent tragedy of Air France Flight 447. While this tragedy did not touch my life. I do not know anyone who was on the plane or anyone who lost someone on the plane. However it has touched me, and I have followed the story and kept the families in my prayers. I grew up with a father who was a pilot, so I'm no stranger to air travel. It's odd to me now, that growing up I never worried about any of my father's flights, partly because I knew what a brilliant pilot he was. It wasn't until 9-11 that I ever feared for him. That day was one of the longest days for me. Not knowing if he was in the air, possibly flying one of those planes, unable to contact him. I understand a small fraction of what those families feel waiting to find out. Luckily, I was able to reach my father that night and he was safe in London. (I'm also very glad that he is now retired and the worst thing I have to fear is him falling off something.) I'm sure the families of flight 447 are asking why. If you have followed the story, you know how many wonderful and brilliant people were lost on that flight. Some young and idealistic, who were going to change the world. Some older and wiser, whose knowledge could teach others so much. We can't help but ask WHY? While there is the obvious question of why the plane crashed, I'm talking about the more cerebral question of why those people, why at this time? Something most will never know the answer to. But I am one of those people that believes there is an answer, even if I nor anyone else ever knows what it is.

I believe in the bigger picture and I have faith that the things that happen are meant to be and serve a greater purpose. I often times get frustrated when I do not know what that purpose is. When things do not go the way I want them, or something tragic happens, I ask why and I get frustrated at the unfairness of it all. Like most, I see those who are seemingly happier and have never faced any tragedy or challenge and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm jealous and I ask "why me?" But then when I step away from the turmoil and look back often I can see the answer or what might be the reason. While it doesn't make me like what I or someone I care about suffered it gives me a sense of peace that there was a reason for it.

One of the best examples, is my dysfunctional family. My grandmother was a saintly woman. She was so kind, giving, soft spoken. She brought light into the lives of everyone she touched. She was also the glue that held our family together. When she became ill (many strokes, dementia, Alzheimer) out family fell apart. I lived far away when that happened, but I had many phone calls for various family members complaining about other family members. For awhile my grandmother went to live with my mom. My mother loved this. Mostly because she loved her mother dearly, but also in part because my mother is the type of woman who loves to be in control and take care of things. When my grandmother's condition got to the point where my mother could no longer do it on her own, she asked her brother and sister to help. Well, my aunt's and uncle, whom at the time I adored, said they were too busy with their own lives to take care of their mother for even one day a week. Their solution was to throw her in a nursing home, so they wouldn't have to be bothered. This then led to them selling all my grandmother's possessions which led to fighting amongst all of them. At one point my aunt even called and asked what I wanted. I was appalled and told her so, letting her know that my grandmother wasn't even dead and they were already fighting over what they could have. It made me sick. A year or so later that same aunt had a botched back surgery and was paralyzed. My mother rarely left her house except to see my grandmother and had pushed everyone but me out of her life, my uncle and his wife became my paralyzed aunt's jailer. I know this because I moved to town. Partly to run away from my unhappiness in my own life and partly because I thought I could make a difference, I could bring my family back together. I would go see my aunt at lunch and we would talk. Some about her frustration with the way her brother and his wife were treating her and withholding her meds unless she agreed to things they wanted and some about the strained relationship between my mother and her. On that I made progress. Sadly my aunt died a year later, but not before my mother and her had made peace. The following year my grandmother also passed away. It was then that the true extent of my uncle's greed came to light. Now my family has become much smaller, not in blood relations so much as in dis-owning each other. It is tragic and yet I know there are so many families out there just like mine and worse. I share this abbreviated version of the story because I know each and every event happened for a reason. My family didn't take those tragic events and see them as a catalyst for something good. Before all this started, I was dis-allusioned and wanted to move from High Point, but didn't know where I wanted to go or give up the security of a good job and my friends. If things had not fallen apart with my family and I had not made the mistake of falling in love with the wrong person and having my heart crushed, I would still be in High Point. Those events led me to move to Wilmington. My aunt's condition, while horrible could have been the catalyst to bring the family back together, only not everyone saw that as the "answer" to "why". My aunt's death was another tragedy that could have been the catalyst to bringing everyone back together, but everyone choose instead to hold on to their personal grudges. After my grandmother's death the rift became even bigger as my uncle's greed got even bigger and turned on younger family members. But out of that, I have an even closer relationship to my young cousin. A bond that is different than just a relative bond. I always adored her, and wanted to look out for her, but now she knows I'm always there. Had the family not hurt her, would we have been as close?

Had things not happened the way they did, I know my life would be completely different. Maybe in a good way, maybe in a bad way. I am not always happy with my life at a given moment and I still constantly ask "why", but I believe everything has happened for a reason and that whether I like it or not I'm on the path I'm supposed to be on. I don't beat myself up for the mistakes I make, and I don't live with regrets. I mess things up and make the wrong choices all the time, but without those moments I wouldn't learn and I wouldn't be the person I am today and will be tomorrow.

I don't think any of us deserves the tragedies that often befall us and those we love. I believe the bad things that happen are the universe balancing things out. That there is a bigger picture and while I do believe in karma, I think that there are times when so much bad is put out in the world, sometimes we all have to pay it back. And I believe that as much as we may not deserve the bad, we need the bad to appreciate the good.

It's human nature to question "why" and everyone has their own belief system, their own versions of God. I don't subscribe to any particular religion. I believe in God, that's enough for me. I don't believe he is a cruel, manipulative God like many religions portray him to be. I believe he is a loving God, who has given us the gift of choice, knowing often times we will make the wrong ones and set in motion events that will effect the lives of others, and that their choices will effect others, and so on. It is in our power how we react and choose to see these events. God will still be there regardless, to help us find the peace in it all.

DVD- While She Was Out

*Spoiler Alert*
This is more of public service announcement than a review. This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. Literally, and that's saying something since I've seen thousands of films and worked on numerous very low-budget, so bad it went straight to Europe and never came back films. Even those were better than this film. Admittedly, I have a low tolerance for characters that behave beyond stupidly. Prior to watching this, my pick for the worst movie would have been, The Strangers, starring Liv Tyler. That movie was based on a true story, and being a former film maker I know that "creative license", as we call it in the industry, often distorts the story. However, the characters in The Strangers are just stupid. If they had even a fraction of an ounce of common sense then they would never have been killed. Seriously! I could have survived in that movie, because I have common sense, at least most of the time.

That being said, after watching While She Was Out, starring Kim Basinger, it is truly the worst film ever made. The write-up on the box tells you it's about a young woman, who is in the wrong place at the wrong time and witnesses a murder then fights for her life as the murderer comes after her. To save anyone the misfortune of ever subjecting themselves to this ghastly film, I will summarize for you. The movie starts out with an angry man, who is obviously having a bad day. He comes home to an unclean house filled with clutter, and after tripping over things yells at his wife (Kim Basinger) about the mess, since she is home all day doing nothing. We first see Kim's character as this mousy, frail woman who cringes and appears afraid of her aggressive husband. She whines responses to him and then takes trays up to their children before leaving to go shopping. As she is driving down the road, she decides to talk on her cell phone and look at the floor while driving. She freaks out when she almost hits another car stopped in front of her and then proceeds to do the same things again!!!! Luckily the phone dies. We discover it is Christmas time as she enters a mall parking lot. She is one of those who must have a close parking space and goes around in circles getting frustrated when she can't find one. IT'S A MALL AT CHRISTMAS! So what does our brilliant housewife do, she stops, rolls down the window and motions for the mall security to come over, at which time she asks him, "where can I park?" Rolling his eyes he tells her there are spaces at the end of the lot. She proceeds to go and park there. On her walk to the mall she writes a note,saying "shame on you" and leaves it on the windshield of a dilapidated car taking up two spaces. Once in the mall she wanders around aimlessly and then finally purchases (what seems like an afterthought) a few rolls of wrapping paper with all the money she has. She then walks back through the now almost deserted parking lot, noticing that the dilapidated car no longer has a note on it. She continues to her SUV which is parked at a median (grassy divider separating the parking lot from the road, approximately 6" higher than the parking lot- note any car could go over this) She gets in her vehicle and the dilapidated car pulls up to her rear bumper, in theory blocking her in (did I mention she is driving an SUV and the only thing in front of her is a 6" curb). Several teenage hoodlums get out of the car, yelling at her. Our brilliant lady gets out of her car and says "you have me blocked in" Really? Seriously? Who would do that? They know they have her blocked in, duh. Okay anyways, they surround her and start pushing her around and trying to scare her until the mall security guard walks up and ask if there is a problem. At this point one of the teenage hoodlums takes out a gun and shoots him in the head. After what seems like an eternity of her screaming, she gets in her SUV jumps the curb and takes off. Did I mention she was at a mall, in a city.... meaning lots of streets, buildings, etc? Does she try to elude them by turning up and down various streets? No, she gets on a straight, lonely deserted road (there aren't even curves on this road) and she is shocked when they catch up to her. She then pulls into a deserted construction site and impales her SUV on pipes sticking out of the back of a truck. She then gets out and hearing them right behind her, goes to the back of the SUV and pulls out a little red toolbox. She takes out a wrench and tries to wedge her hand under the hood (that won't raise more than a few inches because of the pipes) to restart the engine, as they are coming to get her. We then get 45 minutes of her being chased around first at the deserted site and then in the woods. She is so clever, that when they are arguing amongst themselves and not following her, she huddles close by and doesn't make a sound then as soon as they get quiet to look for her, she starts to runs around, bumping into things, making noise. Gee why do they keep finding her? Duh!!! There are four of them, they accidentally kill one and she manages to kill two more. Then when there is just the one guy left, she decides, in the woods, to go up to him and try to have sex with him!!! What? Exactly what I yelled at the TV. After making out with him she does get the gun and shoot him. Cut to her back at the pinned SUV which she manages to start and back away from the truck & poles (yeah, that's believable) and she drives to the entrance of her neighborhood and abandons the SUV to walk down the street to her house with her rolls of gift wrap. Once inside, her husband calls out over his shoulder, did she buy him anything. She walks up to him says no and shoots him. Then the credits roll. Yes it took them two hours to get to that point. I still can't believe I watched the whole thing, but I kept hoping it would get better or she would get killed by her stupidity. Alas it was just a waste. So if you like suspense movies and you see it at the video store and think "that might be interesting", just walk away.

Forgiveness

Ever have one of those nights when you can't sleep..... a million things running through your brain? I have those most nights, which could be why I don't have dark circle under my eyes. I have steamer trucks. I remember many years ago watching the movie Roadhouse when it first came out. It's not a very memorable movie but the one thing I have always remembered is a line Sam Elliot's character used when asked if he ever sleeps. In that great gravelly voice of his, he responded, "I'll sleep when I die." Many days I feel the same, although I do enjoy my sleep, and woe be to the person who tries to wake me before noon on a Saturday or Sunday, the two days when I can usually sleep.

I digress.... last night I was in a very reflective mood and was thinking about Forgiveness. Why do we forgive? Is it a selfless act to help the one who wronged us let go of their guilt? Is it a lazy act because we don't want the hassle of standing up for ourselves? Or is it a selfish act that releases us from our anger and hurt. While I believe it can be any of those things and all of those things, I wonder what other people think and is anything we do truly selfless.

Most people who know me , think of me as this wonderful forgiving person. I have survived a lot of hell in my life, much of it inflicted on me by others, some I inflicted on myself out of my own stupidity. The fact is I do always forgive the ones who wronged me. Sometimes it hasn't been easy, and deep down there is still some pain lingering from some of the things done. Maybe I'm too hard on myself, but I don't think it's all that saintly of me, that I can forgive people so easily. It's true I don't like causing others pain and will often shoulder pain myself to keep others from bearing the consequences of their actions, but in many ways I am passive, and it is easier to forgive and let others "off the hook" so to speak than to confront the situation. On the other hand I have learned over the years that holding on to grudges and resentments, just festers inside of you, creating something ugly. I don't want to be that kind of person. I have people in my life that are and I see how lonely and miserable it makes them. So I'm selfish in that, I would rather forgive and let the past go than to be that person. I think it also helps that I believe in Karma. I believe what you put out there will come back to you, therefore I don't need to plot revenge on those who have wronged me, the universe will balance that all out. At least that's what I tell myself on the good days. On the few narcissistic, self pity days (that we are all prone to have) I tend to ask God, "Why me? Haven't I suffered enough?" Of course then I always feel guilty because there are so many people who suffer so much more than I have and they don't complain. I think what triggered this was seeing a man on TV who was a sky-diving instructor, full of life. On one of the jumps, his student, who had been up several times and knew what he should be doing, decided to goof off which caused him to fall too quickly. The instructor trying to come to his aid ends up getting hit be the student and his neck broken as he's falling from the sky (just one more reason, you will never find me jumping out of a plane) Miraculously right before he hits the ground his chute does open, which saves his life. But now he is paralyzed. When they were interviewing him, he never blamed the student's irresponsible actions nor harbored any ill will towards him. He was happy and still full of life. How many of us could be that magnanimous, when faced with such a life altering tragedy? I'm a forgiving person, but even I don't know that I could let something like that go so easily. And in light of that thought, am I truly as forgiving as I think I am? Maybe we could all learn him. Subject for another day, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason that chute miraculously opened on it's own was because God had bigger plans for him and knew he could be an example to the rest of the world if we but let him.

The Gray Man

This weekend I watched a DVD called The Gray Man. The Gray Man is the story of a real life "Hannible Lector" type character from the late 1920's. The story revolves around the kidnapping and murder of a little girl, Grace Budd, by Albert Fish in 1928. It is a gruesome subject but the film was so artfully made that it leaves you with chills, mainly because it is based on the true of these characters and the director lets you fill in many of the blanks for yourself. Albert Fish was a sick and narcisistic man who murdered and ate many children after his wife left him. He had five children of his own. They were all grown when he began his spree of terror and where in denial about his behavior, which did hint at what he was capable of. Although I am sure there are many who will not like the film because it is not graphic enough, and lets face it, modern society is jaded that way. I hestitate to classify this as a horror although the subject matter is definitely horrific. The film makers do a brilliant job of showing you what life was like then. As a former costume designer I can usually spot continuity flaws instantly, and I have to say this is one of the better made films I have seen recently. There are no big name actors, although you will recognize many of the faces. The gore and the acts of violence against the children you never see, instead the director has our vilian call the child upstairs and later you see him eating, so you know what has happened. As I pointed out in my last post, I think this style is so much more effective in horrifying us, the viewer, because we are left to imagine what has happened, what he has done. Towards the end of the movie, Albert writes a letter to the family giving terrible details of what he did with their daughter and it is this letter that allowed the police to finally catch him. Even in that, as the girls older brother reads the letter, we are not given everything it says, but just a taste. Of the other characters in the movie, we get a glimpse of how tough life was on some in the late 20's. And I found that glimpse interesting as we face our own economic depression today.

I also found interesting, that in his trial, Albert Fish, was one of the first to try to use the "insanity" defence, and while yes some could argue one must be insane to do what he did. I like the fact that the jury didn't let him have that "excuse" and saw him for what he was "pure evil". We are given hints throughout the film that it was way he was raised in an extremely religious orphanage that is the cause of his psychosis. I believe there is pure evil in the world. I also believe that more often than not people try to make excuses for their reprehensible behaviors instead of acknowledging them. While I applaud the way the film was made, the irony that our modern society is one based on excuses shows itself in how the film makers made the movie. In many scenes, we see the flash of the ghost of the boy he once was as he punishes himself for his wickedness. Had this film been made 40-50 yrs ago, would we have gotten those glimpses?

How often do we read and hear in the news today, how some killer, child molester, abuser, etc isn't resonsible for their actions because they had a rough upbringing, or their parents didn't love the enough, or their parents loved them to much? When do we stop making excuses for our actions and allowing others to make excuses for theirs?

Modern Horror vs Old School Horror Movies

I grew up watching cheesy horror movies. I still love them today, however I avoid most modern ones. Horror film-makers of today think that for a movie to be scary they must give us an abundance of sex and gore and very little plot. Although, most of the older movies aren't scary either they at least try to engage your brain or at least entertain you with their campiness. Maybe it's my age, but I really don't need to see a bunch of naked bimbos running around screaming and getting slashed or impaled, mostly by their own stupidity. I also don't need to see bucket loads of fake blood, mucus, bile, internal organs, etc. The human imagination is a wonderful thing. Sadly we live in a world where most of us can fill in the gory and sexual details without having to have it thrown in our face for ninety minutes straight on the screen. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. I have no problem with nudity and if it enhances the story or has a purpose by all means have it in the movie, but the majority of nudity used in film today is extraneaous. At one time it was used as shock factor as was all the gore, but today's society sees so much of it on a regular basis that the majority is numb to it. There is nothing creepy about seeing yet another ax (fill in with your weapon of choice) wielding inbred psycho hacking a nubile coed to pieces while mumblng and drooling. Why? Because it has been done a thousand times, we've seen it in countless movies made by people who lack the imagination to come up with something more original. Of course all they care about is how many tickets and DVD's they can sell and sadly the youth of today loves it.

I think the original Friday The 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street started these trends. And they are classic horror movies. What the film makers of today fail to realize when they imitate these movies is that when those came out they were shocking, they did grab our attention and they did scare us. And yes there was some nudity and there was some gore but those movies centered around the plot not the other way around. Then you have your other great classics like Rosemary's Baby, Omen, The Excorcist. I can watch any of those today and not be fazed (which is sad), but when they came out they scared nations of people. Of course some of my favorite horror movies are the ones that never scared anyone even back then but they had great stories and the campy acting made them classics. Bela Lugosi, Vincent Price, Boris Karlof, Christoher Lee.... those names among others will live on forever, do any of us really remember the names of these modern actors in horror movies? We don't, because like the movies they star in they are forgettable.

Book Review - Silent Treatment by Michael Palmer

I moderate a mystery/thriller book club that meets the last Tuesday of each month. For May, we were all a little busy so we ended up meeting this past Tuesday. Our book this month was Silent Treatment by Michael Palmer. We choose it because the month before we had read his book The 5th Vial which was excellent and we all enjoyed it so much we decided to read another one of his books. This is a first for us as we try to read different authors.

Since this is my virgin post, so to speak, I'm going to back track a little and briefly tell you about The 5th Vial. The book jumps a little between the story lines of three different characters. Many times this can get confusing and an author doesn't bring them together well in the end. That was not the case here. Palmer beautifully kept you going with the three story arcs and then brought them together in the end seamlessly. We follow a medical intern who although over-coming some obstacles in her past seems to be on the track of a brilliant future....... A doctor in Africa is making a breakthrough in his third world country.... a down on his look PI is taking work just to pay the bills..... the thing that brings all of them together is a secret society that is harvesting organs for transplants..... Sounds sinister, oh it definitely is. I don't want to give too much away, so I will leave you with the fact that each of the three main characters will impact not only this corrupt society but will change each others lives. Definitely a must read!

Which brings us to Silent Treatment. . . . ultimately it is about corruption in managed care and insurance companies. The story follows an aging general practitioner. He has a dis-interested wife with a brain aneurysm, who is secretly having an affair; the hospital he practices at is trying to ban general practitioners and he's started having chest pains that he thinks are part of a family curse. Meanwhile, there is a group of unscrupulous insurance bigwigs that want to line their and their companies pockets with money by killing off patients whose treatments would cost them too much. Sound complicated? The premise is great, however in this book there are so many extraneous story arcs that it lacks consistency. It starts off unbelievably slow and I was forcing myself to continue reading ( I read about 4-5 novels a week, It took me a week to get to chapter 7) then it finally starts picking up and is so full of action you can zip through the rest of it. But....you knew that was coming..... so many completely whacky things happen that it really was impossible for any of us to suspend our disbelief and truly enjoy the book. It really felt to us like this was a first time novel and unfortunately it wasn't. Overall, it wasn't the worst I've read and I do have two more of his books which I will be reading in the near future. Anyone interested in more details can check out his website, michaelpalmerbooks.com . He has a great website and is a very personable author.

I would love to hear what others think of the books or suggestions for future mystery/thriller readings.